Not Alone
by goldthread-silverlining
Summary: Dean is struggling. Sam can relate. tag/spoilers to 14x05- Nightmare Logic


_A/N: 'kay so I've been wanting this to happen since Dean came back, but they haven't given it to me. So now we're here. Thus, this is SLIGHTLY AU because it's how I WANTED that conversation to go at the end of 14x05- Nightmare Logic. Also, first published fic, all mistakes are mine. This is just a quick one-shot for my own indulgence. Be kind, reviews would be most appreciated._

 _Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even cord charging the computer I'm writing this on._

"I know, I know. Not my fault. It's Michael, It's _all_ Michael." Dean gave a sardonic half-smile. Clearly not believing what he'd been practically conditioned to say at this point. "You know I've been trying to not…forget, but…move on. From I, From what we, from what _he_ did. And I gotta be honest I was, I was… starting to feel like myself again." Dean let out a scoff, "almost."

As he began to walk away he could tell Sam wanted to say something. But Dean really wasn't in the mood for another pep talk. But the sleep-deprived stress magnet finally spoke up before he could make his escape.

"I know what you mean."

Slightly shocked since that was not what he was expecting to hear, Dean took a moment before turning back towards his brother, needing to make sure he heard it in the first place. "What?"

"I… I know the feeling. Like you're drowning, and how afterwards, you don't feel right in your own skin, it's almost foreign. That it wasn't you, and you know it wasn't. But," Sam's eyes went distant, almost as if he was reliving his own nightmares, "you can still feel the bones breaking, can still hear the screams...taste the blood… And you don't feel like it will ever get better. And it won't, not for a long time. But it does become... bearable. Eventually."

Dean had listened solemnly to his brother's confession. He'd almost forgotten that Sam was all too familiar with having a lack of autonomy. He knew his way around the territory of possession, all too well. First with Meg, then finding out about the demon blood, then Lucifer, then being soulless, then Gadreel. The list seemed to go on and on, "Sammy-"

The younger man looked down, almost embarrassed that he'd shared that much. Like it had almost killed him to. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that. I just… you're not alone."

"I know Sammy. I'm sorry, I didn't even think about it that way."

Sam almost had to laugh. Only his brother could manage to feel guilty for this, "Don't apologize, I never expected you too. I just wanted you to know, that I get it."

"I can't even imagine, and what I did with Gadreel, had I known then what I know now… I'm- I'm sorry."

Sam wouldn't bring his eyes to meet Dean's, "I know. And I've moved on. Well, as best I can. But, don't feel like you have to be okay all the time. Believe me it's exhausting. And you know I won't judge if you ever need to talk about it."

Dean simply nodded his head, relishing the love coming from his brother, but not wanting to dive further down the rabbit hole. He slapped grin on his face, "Well, I've had enough talking for one night. Probably already growing lady parts."

Sam scoffed, realizing his brother's evasion for what it was, "yeah whatever. Jerk."

Dean couldn't help but smile, "Bitch."

Both brothers were walking towards their prospective rooms for the night, when Sam grabbed Dean's arm, "And we'll figure this out, with Michael. We will. Just give me some time. Give us some time." The look in younger Winchester's puppy-dog eyes was all but begging, and Dean being the brother he was, couldn't refuse. He didn't just cave, he crumbled. He always did where his kid-brother was concerned.

 _Typical,_ Dean thought, _manipulative little shit_. "Yeah Sammy, I know we will." He didn't know. Hell, he didn't honestly think they would ever be able to find Michael, let alone defeat him. But Sam needed to think that, for now at least.

Sam nodded his head, realizing that was the best answer he was gonna get for now.

The two brothers went their separate ways down the hall, towards a future neither could foresee. But at least they had each other.


End file.
